Currently Listening Hopes and Fears By Keane Somewhere Only We Know see related

Your World Is As Big As You Make It

RULES for my boyfriend (if ever):

1. Never keep me away from my God. If you do, you're not worth it.

2. No to premarital sex...

3. Take me baby, or leave me.

4. I refuse to believe I'm lower than you. I am not inferior.

5. Always prove to me that you're worthy of my love, cause I promise you, I deserve yours.

*and that was by ereeka mesiona (or at least, i copied it from her planner. hahaha. YAN! MAY RECOGNITION NA PO! :D)

Hold your weapons, ready your army, save all you can and brace for the coming attack: the Hell Weeks have arrived.

So, yes, the battle is now beginning. Three more weeks of endless lessons, homeworks and tests. Three more weeks of waking up early and sleeping just hours before that. Three more weeks of stress. Three more weeks of sacrifice. Three more weeks of hell school. And then...we're free.

I just can't believe it.

Freedom is finally in reach.

Now that I see summer fast approaching, I'm actually getting impatient. The past few days seem to go by so slowly. Can't time go faster? Right now, I'm about to cry in frustration cause I'm so stressed out (I know, hard to believe since I still find time to update my blog). And I can't imagine what it'll be like next year..with more difficult topics to absorb and with Banaag meetings. I wonder if I'll survive. But whatever. I've never been the future kind of person. I'll think of those problems when I'm there already, thank you very much. Enough has been laid on my shoulders for now.

One thing to look forward to is the freshnight, though. Yes, all the FreshCom's hard work will finally pay off. Hopefully our batchmates will support all the sacrifice we've done to make this event happen. If not, oh well, it's their loss not ours. To all those reading now, I really invite you to come to SPECTRUM! MCHS PINK BATCH'S NIGHT OF FUN AND MUSIC. I promise you you'll have no regrets coming to this party. It's defintely going to be better than last year's bash. 100% better. The 175 will be totally worth it.

Another thing I'm so dying to experience is the examination. Pfffttt.. Yeah, right. Like hell that's going to happen. What I was going to say was I'm looking forward to the ONE ELEVEN class outing, which I'm organizing together with the other officers. Yup, yup. We have a place set already, just the transportation is the problem. But we'll find a way, we always do. We've got everything set; breakfast, lunch, snack, dinner, games, songs, music and everything. I just pray that the parents will help us financially and will allow their daughters to go. If not, I dread it’ll be a little hard to make happen. I’ll even beg on my knees just for their agreement. That’s how bad I want this to push through. Because, shockingly, I am going to miss the class (it’s shocking because just months ago, our bond wasn’t even that close—but now we’re inseparable) and I really want the last opportunity of our bonding to be just fabulous and memorable. Gosh, I think I’m going to cry. Anyway, there’s just so much that can happen if this pursues. Wait, this will pursue. I’ll see to that myself.

In the days when projects seem to suffocate me, I’m actually alright. I mean, yeah I’m getting uglier due to the stress but that can be fixed. (It can be, right?) What amazes me is that my spirit is still able to fight, still positive. Because normally, I’d have gone all whiny and sleepy and surly this will disrupt my study time. But nope. I’m still standing. Maybe it’s American Idol. Uh-huh. Maybe it is. I love the show (even though it isn’t meant for me, a Filipino who didn’t even religiously watch Philippine Idol)! The Pinoy guy got voted out though. ARG! Americans have such bad taste in music…joking. He was so good though and it’s so unfair that the ugly and boring guy still got to stay. That’s just life, I guess. But anyway, LET’S GO BLAKE!! (He’s the blonde beatboxer(?)! Love him.)

Tatsulok by Bamboo is my inspiration. That song speaks so loudly about what’s happening. Habang may tatsulok, at sila ang nasatuktok di matatapos itong gulo…While there’s the pyramid, and they’re at the top, this squabble will not end. If you don’t know what that means, wake up dude. You’re a bit slow on current issues. But I like the fact that music is also now influenced by the global happenings and that they’re starting to open people’s eyes. That’s the beauty of music and lyrics. J Btw, if you haven’t heard the song, I recommend you do listen to it. The meaning is nice and, it’s the truth.

Today was the last club meeting. Awwww. I know I’m not exactly proud of the name of my club—because, really, it does no justice to our goals and what we’re doing. Plus it adds with it a negative connotation—but I am proud of the people in it. Love you guys. And I can’t believe that I made the impression to Miss that I didn’t like being there, because I did. It’s actually the most fun club I’ve joined. And trust me, that says a lot. All the bad things I’ve said, those we’re all just jokes (and don’t even give me that crap where jokes are half meant—mine aren’t…at least, not all.) But, yeah, I’m going to miss BLC. Really.

So, for the last paragraph of my blog, I’ll dedicate it to all that have been part of my first year high school experience. Even just a brief hello helped me. One thing I realized while going through the Banaag auditions (again) is that…nothing can bring me down. They’ve thrown words that are mean to me, but all of those were deflected, just like the Coriolis Effect (science corruption…tsktsk). It’s because of this: I oh so love myself! (Hello Yannah) And that’s all because of the people who are at my side and who show their love as well. I can’t thank you guys enough for all that you’ve done to mold me into a better person. Into a more sensitive, more loving, more considerate being. I hope a simple thanks is enough. Know that when I say this, I mean it a hundred fold. You all mean so much to me…and it’s going to be a really lonely road without you. Hopefully next year, our paths won’t be too far away. In the end, I know we’ll meet again and hopefully, we’ll be able to touch each other’s lives as well.

I love you all.

Anecdote of the day:

I stand near her side, suddenly feeling a strong current of emotions swell through me. I hug her, she hugs me back. Tears dwell in my eyes, and I fight the urge to break down.

“What if I give up now, Yannah?” I say, sobbing but trying hard to mask my sadness. I hear her breathing and feel her taking in my pain, just as I absorb hers when she’s in trouble. It takes a moment before she replies.

She sighs. “It’s all up to you. If it’s worth giving up, then just do it. If you know you’ll regret it later on, though, think about the consequences first.”

I let her words drown from my ears and into my heart. This gets me thinking. I wipe the moisture off my eyes and pull away from our embrace, taking the opportunity to stare into her eyes.

I smile weakly. “Yannah, what are we talking about?”

Yannah laughs. “Ewan! Ano ba?”

I chortle along with her. “Di ko din alam eh!!!”

Weirdness.

PS:: I'm so addicted to the computer speech thing. I've heard the computer dictate this blog so many times...and i've made it say a lot of wierd things. hahaha. :)) I'm so peculiar.

Ciao.

Bussi. 

One minute and the earth begins to shake
two minutes and my hearts begins to break
Another minute and he makes me feel brand new
That's just three minutes with you
Four minutes and he's everything I see
Five minutes and hes where I wanna be
Another minute everything feels so new
That's just six minutes with you

Feels like I have always known you
And I swear I dreamt about you
All those endless nights I was alone
It's like I've spent forever searching
Now I know that it was worth it
With you it feels like I am finally home

Falling head over heels
Thought I knew how it feels
But with you it's like the first day of my life

Cuz you leave me speechless
When you talk to me
You leave me breathless
The way you look at me
You manage to disarm me
My soul is shining through
Can't help but surrender
My everything to you

I thought I could resist you
I thought that I was strong
Somehow you were different from what I've known
I didn't see you coming
You took me by surprise and
You stole my heart before I could say no

Maybe there's beauty in goodbye
There's just no reason left to try
You push me away
Another black day
Let's count up the reasons to cry
Look what you've missed, living like this
Nobody wins

Currently Listening Motion in the Ocean By McFly Transylvania see related

There's No Day But Today

I think I'm falling in love with Danny Alan David Jones. All over again.

Oh god.

It's surprising (and quite amusing) how cruel people can get. Just this thursday, we were dismissed late just for a Teen Seminar thingy. (I was the unfortunate emcee). Anyway, I was seated with Bea in front (yes, I forced her to come with me) and we were "listening" to the speaker talk. It was only about after five minutes when I noticed Bea counting something. "Ano yun?" I asked. Her reply: "Binibilang ko kung ilang 'Noh' yung sinasabi niya."

Great.

So it isn't new to me, this whole concept of tallying the word a person uses the most. I mean, back during middle school, my friends and I used to do the same with Ms. Uy's (I'm sorry by the way) and Mrs. Sarmiento's 'Noh'. Now I think my classmates are doing it with Ms. Mac's 'Oks'. But it still bugs me. I mean, I can't help think how the person talking might feel if she found out. Kakaawa. If I was in her place, I'd be really sad and angry. The good thing is, the speaker--or any of the other victims--didn't seem to notice that everytime she said that word, the students would all simultaneously bow down to put another tick on their paper/hands. An odd way of taking notes, she might've been thinking. And yet, I don't really reckon she's that dense or stupid. Or are she? It really fascinates me how people can keep on talking in front of an audience, even if they're all asleep or doing something else. I've had my share of speeches, but they're really brief ones, you know, not like the 55 minutes a teacher has to endure. Our BEC moderator is the champion of this, I guess. It's either he's really blind and deaf to the boredom of the students or he just doesn't mind. Teachers are just so complicated creatures. I promise you I'll never join their race...at least, not for a lifetime, because I have no guts to complete the sacrifices and the work they're doing.

Last Friday was the scheduled date with my mom. It was fun. We visited our usual hangout place (Robinsons Galleria) and watched Music and Lyrics. To those who have not seen the movie yet, you should! It's really funny and so romantic. Both my mom and I want to watch it again...Hugh Grant is the best. I love practically all his movies. Anyway, so yeah. We also bought me new school shoes. It was only earlier that day that my old ones decided to retire. It was actually already talking to me. :) I love my new shoes.

So the schook elections are tomorrow already. I'm not quite sure of whom to vote yet, though. But whatever, I'm sure of one person. BEA! Woohoo. Let's go, bestfriend. I really hope she wins because it's really going to be a hella fun rollercoaster ride for second year if she does. I wish our batch is smart enough to choose her.

Anyway, Ima go to church now. I'll check in sometime this week for more updates. :)

I love y'all. But mostly, I love Danny Jones.

Oh and before I forget:

NUMBER OF 'NOH's: 510.

You can imagine what it felt like hearing all of those.

Ciao.

Bussi.

There are Two Tragedies in Life, One is to Lose You Heart's Desire and the Other is To Gain It...

Whoever wrote that is right, I guess. I may not have fully understood it’s meaning during the very moment I heard the saying, but then as I ventured deeper into its context, I saw what was hidden. In life, it’s inevitable to get hurt. Without pain, you will never know what it feels to be painless. Without sadness, you will never find out the true meaning of joy. Without hate or indifference, you can never get to know the feeling of love.

So, I’ve been ranting about guys for the past few blogs. Sorry to say that today won’t be any different. Hopefully, though, I’ll be able to stop drowning in the world I so want to leave. Just yesterday, Eka and I were discussing how our lives are NOT to be decided by men. Who said they should be the center of our attention? What is their right to dictate to us what to do, how to feel and how to act? Only recently have I felt the feminist side of me awaken. For more than a month in the past, I was longing for excitement, thinking that this would come if I found someone to share my heart with. Oh, how wrong am I? I guess I was just focusing on the wrong things. This can go the other way around too, if you know what I mean.

“I care for him and that's why I hate to know that I'm hurting him somehow. I've felt the pain, that's why I don't to inflict it upon others. Because, really, when you know someone's hurting because of you, you get hurt too. :) You know I'm not the kind of person who just lets this happen. I've got to do something to end this madness. I'll go back to my boy-less life anytime, please. If only I could find my way back there.”

This is derived from the e-mail I wrote sometime in the past. Yes, I do hate it when that situation occurs. Now, I’ve got a pretty good hunch of it happening, not because someone told me about it, but because when it comes to this matter, I’m sensitive.

There are three guys I mention previously. I’m going to uncode half of them. The first is Julian Lazaro. The second shall remain unnamed and the third was christened Paul. I’m stating this just so there’s no confusion. So now there’s this new dude. I like him, as a person and as a friend. Actually, I enjoy his company, everytime we’re together. He doesn’t say much, but I like the fact that when I’m around him, I feel a sense of serenity and calmness. I like the fact that he remembers me and isn’t a snob. I like the fact that he likes me too. What I don’t want is that there’s something ripping our friendship apart. I don’t know what it is exactly, if I did, I would’ve done something about it a long time ago. Anyway, I can’t believe I’m going to admit this but I miss him. Or, rather, I miss hearing from him. It’s just all kinda weird for me. I am, though, going to say a few things to this guy (who hopefully gets to read this one day. I know there was a time he got into my blogs, I just hope he’s here now, to see the one dedicated to him). I’m sorry. For everything. I’m not sorry for knowing you but, instead, I’m sorry if ever I hurt you. I’m sorry IF you feel like something’s eating your heart up. Let me share a piece of advice that was once passed on to me. If you can’t get the person you love, no matter how hard you try, I promise you, there will always be someone else. This applied to me and maybe, just maybe, it will for you too. I love you, my friend. And I miss you. Hi.Ü

So now I know that a few of you are probably wondering when the drama will end. Well, it ends tonight. J Know why? Because I’m going to end it.

This week’s been alright, I guess. I’ve been reading my previous blogs (I just realize how unamusingly long they were and was amazed that some people actually read it) and, let me tell you something, it’s extremely fun. I mean, like, I can’t believe those things happened and that I had the patience (and enough blubbery-attitude) to write it. Anyway, I’m just so…happy. Because now, I feel part of me has returned. Only a few more pieces to go.

So what to write? Hmm…it’s One Tree Hill night tonight. What joy. I watched the eighth episode yesterday and it was alright. Oh, another thing I watched was McFly’s new Transylvannia video. Super funny!!! I love them more, especially Dougie and Danny. Gosh, they’re so hot. I also saw a few of their home videos. I swear, they’re the clowniest (is that even a word?) band members I know. How I wish I could get to know them. What more be “involved” with them. *snickers* And I saw Nickelback’s Far Away video just a while ago. I can only say one word: Aw. (Technically, though, that’s not even a word)

Remember how I said this year doesn’t feel new? I guess it was my mistake saying that too early. Because only now have I realized the true potential 2007 brings. I’m having so much fun now…I’m wondering what the next few chapters of my life would be. Things with my class have improved extremely. Now I can really say we’re close. And now, I could really wish for us to be together for the whole high school experience. I won’t mind, because I’ve learned to treasure them. I sincerely hope the few people in the class who are making true harmony hard to achive would back down, though, and change for the better. Because we all care for you to just be the better person that you are.

What else…oh yeah. VOTE ANNA BEATRIX DELA TORRE FOR PINK BATCH REPRESENTATIVE. You will never regret it, I swear. Right now, if you’re a little annoyed with her antics, it’s alright. Because in the end, you’ll learn to love her, just like I did. So make the right choice and vote the right candidate. Again, BEA DELA TORRE FOR PINK BATCH REP!!!

Anyway, Ima go now. I’ll end this blog with a few contrasting words in relation to my header.

There are two tragedies in life. The first is to lose you r hearts desire and the other is to gain it. Yes, they are tragedies, but without taking the risk, you’ll never experience the life in these challenges. Just be strong and allow nothing to break you. Not even heartaches. Depend greatly on yourself, because no one can help you get up when you fall except the person who fell in the first place. It’s your choice, all you have to do is take the right one. It’s hard to accept this at the beginning, but then in the end, you’ll know and realize I’m right in a sense. Tragedies are disasters. Misfortunes. Calamities. But the lessons you’ll learn from them are the same lessons that are going to bring you up and even personally introduce you to true and eternal happiness.

Don’t fret.

Ciao.

Bussi.

PS: If you wanna watch the new Mcfly video, just click this link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X-qm9TDZ4t8

Keep Holding On, Cause I Know We'll Make It Through